Sadness.

I have lost my Dad.
He could not struggle on anymore with this life. His heart became too weak and his lungs became too scarred. His intellect was sound and he made the decision to let go. I begged him to stay, but I respect his decision. He made it with dignity and with pride for all that he loved and accomplished in his life.
I just wish I could still have him here. For one more hug. For one more conversation.
He promised me that he would always be right over my shoulder, there whenever I needed him, no matter what. I know he is. I can feel him. He continues to inspire me.
My dad was a great man and a great lawyer. He believed in the law and was passionate about it. He believed in the protection of the law. He never acted on behalf of a client or himself without researching the law completely to be certain that his actions were right. He was a fighter. He didn't settle for anything without giving his all. He was unusual, in that he believed in helping his friends, and clients, more frequently than not, became friends. He often consulted and helped people without charging them, because he truly cared about them. Also because he wanted them to believe in the law and the court system as he did.
Oh, and he believed that many lawyers these days deserve the reputation they get. Because they only care about the profession and the pay, rather than the true principles that are provided to protect individuals.
Do I want my Dad back, sitting in his chair in the office? Of course I do. More than anything. But I will let him rest now, knowing that he is not struggling for air and wishing he had the strength to work in his yard that he loves, play "territory" with his grandkids, carry the groceries in for Mom, and knowing that he gave me everything he possibly could to carry on in this world without him. It's going to be hard, but, well, he gave me, me. I wouldn't be who I am, especially now, if he hadn't been there for me.
I know you're over my shoulder, Dad. One more hug, please?