A day with my buddies

Spent today with Zachary & Alec. Geez they are the most cuddly little guys! I really can't get enough of them. Am I different as an aunt than I was as a mother? As a mother, I was a negotiator, a supervisor, maybe not as much of a cuddler as I am now. But with nephews & nieces you don't have to supervise & negotiate with quite the intensity, so there's more time for the cuddling. One thing that is the same is that I am an observer. I loved just watching my kids - in all their activities & situations - and I still do. I love seeing my kids do what they do and be who they are. The same is true of my nieces & nephews. I love to just observe who they are. I am in complete awe. Really. Perhaps that makes me seem distant. I don't feel that way. I feel more a part of the people I love when I don't get in the way of them being themselves by trying to make something happen between us. Does this make any sense? I only wish that Sarah & Meghan were around more often, or that I had enough time to see them more. Perhaps their new cousin and future teammate on the GFFL will bring them closer more often.
Okay, now, about me -
Yup - another A - keeping my GPA at 4.0. My anatomy & physiology class this semester was FANTASTIC! I had an awesome instructor and I only wish I could take more classes with her. Unfortunately, she may be taking a job at another school and so even if I had the time to take another one with her, it's not likely that I could. I have my application in for the PT Assistant program and just need to make sure on Monday that my physical therapist, Jeff, has submitted his documentation of my hours in therapy which fulfills my observation requirement. I still don't know how I will pull this whole thing off between my job & my budget, but I am determined & hopeful that it will all come together. Prayers are appreciated at this point. This summer I have to take one more math class to complete all the pre-req's for the program.

I'll get it together...

Dad is home. For the weekend anyway. Monday the plan is to do an ablation procedure that will make his heart work effectively & efficiently. I'm feeling better about this. I want my dad to be well & enjoying his "kiddies" & his life. I know I can't enjoy mine completely otherwise. He is my rock. He is my hero. I need him to be there for me.

Denial

My dad is not feeling so well. I'm in denial. He has never been unhealthy. But he is in the hospital and undergoing a battery of tests. I'm sure (I think) that a pacemaker will make him fine again. My mom is scared & very worried. She doesn't know what to do next. Tomorrow we will know more. In my mind, they are no different than they were 35 years ago when I got married & moved out of their house. I'm only a couple of blocks down the street and I can keep an eye on them from here. They seem the same as ever to me. How could this happen? I can't accept it.