Finally...

Yes, I have been screwed. Plated, grafted and screwed. My new xray looks very much like the one below, only much nicer - smaller, more feminine - and without that crooked screw in the middle. Six very nicely aligned screws hold the plate to my now perfectly aligned clavicle, and bone grafting is in place throughout to help it heal properly. The surgery was not as painful as I expected, however I am now realizing how the associated musculature had deteriorated in just three months time. NO, I'm not trying to lift weights or something so foolish, its just that there are muscles that had drifted off into complacency that have now been reassigned their positions and duties, and they are speaking out on the subject. All in all, I'm very glad I made the decision to get this thing fixed. Do I regret not doing it earlier? No. There was no apparent reason not to give it a chance to heal on its own. It just didn't heal on its own. Perhaps that is where the term "Lazy-Bones" comes from!
In other news, our passports have arrived. The photos are as hideous as the ones from our last passports from 25 years ago. This time we don't look like hippie criminal types. We just look like goofy middle-aged types. I'm afraid all my fun new clothes will reveal the "artistry" performed on me last Friday. Too bad. I shall wear the bright colors of purple, yellow, blue, red and green as a badge of honor and bravery. Yes - I was very brave - so brave that Stacey said I could have ice cream!
Oh, and I did show the Edwin Smith Papyrus bit to my Dr on Monday, and he said that perhaps he might want to try the yarn and honey form of treatment on the next clavicle fracture patient - that is if he can figure out a way to dodge the impending lawsuit!

Third times' a charm?

So there I was all prepped. Stacey & Marv were there waiting in the pre-op area with me. My Dr had already been in once to say hello, talk about the surgery and say that we were almost ready to go. I had my cute little bonnet on my head, and then my Dr reappears and says, "I have to cancel your surgery for today" Okay so this is too wierd to be real, so Stacey & I can hardly hold back the laughter! But yes, I am home again tonight without having my collarbone repaired. There was a tiny hole in the sterile draping that wrapped the custom appliances that were to be installed, and so there was no way to continue today. So I will have to wait until Friday to get screwed. As if I haven't enough already! I'm actually starting to look forward to it. Go figure.

Screwed!

Oh no, its not what you think. Surgery was rescheduled! (for Tuesday) Seeing as how one of my regular office visits had to be rescheduled because my Dr got tickets for the Super Bowl, I'm suspicious that he has now come down with a severe case of March Madness! I guess it will work out for the better, but I have to say that I was not in a "happy place" after I got the call on Thursday. I had made all arrangements at work, had gone & gotten the dreaded blood test done, and was mentally prepared to spend my weekend feeling much like I did over Christmas. Still this gave us time to get the passport things finalized for our trip, and it gives me a couple more days to get clothes for the trip, finish up laundry and deliver music that I ordered for my friend Georgia (a music teacher in Delavan, WI), so that her lessons can proceed as planned.
Speaking of clothes for the trip - I'm getting pretty darn daring here with my new wardrobe! Capri's! Egad! My legs haven't seen the sun in years, so I won't expose any more than my ankles to the world. Now I must find some really trendy shoes or sandals to go with, and (you won't believe this part) I'm even thinking that when I get down there I will try a pedicure! The idea of someone touching my feet still frightens me, but I figure if I can overcome the trauma of the surgery I'm about to have, then I can brave it through a pedicure.
Later...

Self Improvement

Edwin Smith Papyrus: A Fracture of the Clavicle
- examination: if thou examinest a man having a break in his collar-bone (and) thou shouldst find his collar-bone short and separated from its fellow.
- diagnosis: thou shouldst say concerning him : "One having a break in his collar-bone. An ailment which I will treat."
- treatment: thou shouldst place him prostrate on back, with something folded between his two shoulder-blades; thou shouldst spread out with his two shoulders in order to stretch apart his collar-bone until that break falls into its place. thou shouldst make for him two splints of linen, (and) thou shouldst apply one of them both on the inside of his upper arm. thou shouldst bind it with yarn, (and) treat it afterward with honey every day, until he recovers.
See http://wheelessonline.com/ortho/clavicle_fractures

What I want to know is: where was the honey and yarn when I first needed it?

After much contemplation, quite a number of visits to the Dr and one xray after another, I have made the decision to get screwed on Friday. Okay, I apologize for being crass, but that's what they do these days when the yarn & honey treatment fails. The photos are not xrays of my collarbone, but mine looks similar. It still hurts. I describe it as though someone or some thing has sunk their teeth into the front of my shoulder and just rips at it whenever it feels provoked. This creature is easily provoked, mind you. Toothbrushing, reading in bed, adjusting the covers, steering the car, tying shoelaces and pulling on socks or opening the refrigerator are just a few of the things that can set off the snarly toothed monster. I've had it up to "here" with the likes of this creature! 12 weeks is enough of the yarn & honey. I'll get back to you soon....

Another week gone by...

This week brought travel plans. Go figure! Marv has won an all-expenses-paid trip for two to some resort right on the tip of the Yucatan penninsula. He did this by doing his job in an outstanding manner as usual. So instead of giving him an enormous sum of money as a reward, the powers that be decided on this trip together with others from his company. So now we have to rush to get passports and struggle find appropriate apparel. Neither one of us ever wanted to be seen in a swimming suit again, and so we don't own them. Not likely we can be forced into a situation where we might need them. If so, I think we'll have to get them down there. Golf is available to Marv, and most of you who know me know how I feel about golf. Most sports are out of the question for me until further notice. I guess I'll just enjoy sleeping late, reading books, soaking up the sun - fully clothed - and see what the days & nights bring.
This week I get another x-ray to see if my collarbone is healing. It still hurts. I don't think that is a good sign.