My Life as a Weeble

I know, I know

2011-08-28T22:07:00.002-05:00

Its been a long time since I have been here. I just never feel like my life is that interesting that I have something to talk about on a regular basis. But, now, here I am.
I am at the point now with school that I am looking forward to graduation & becoming certified in the field of Health Information Technology. In 9 or 10 months I may actually have credentials listed after my name. If my efforts could be a part of anything to bring about health care reform in our country I would feel better about the degree. But I'm otherwise quite sure that I have improved myself, if no one else, by making my first real effort towards a college degree. Jury is out on where I will go with this AAS degree. I'd like to continue toward some sort of BS degree, but I don't know what kind, so I think I'll just be happy to have accomplished what I have.
Making my studies easier has at the same time brought me closer (I know, how much closer could I be?) to Mom & Dad. I've taken up space in Dad's library to study. It feels good to just be there on an almost daily basis. Dad & I talk. I can hear Mom walking around upstairs. I watch their shenanigans - I'm telling you, I no longer have any doubt where our crazy sense of humor comes from!
The best thing is talking to Dad. I've always been able to talk to Mom, but never felt like I had anything to say that Dad was interested in. I mean he has always been interested in my kids and we could always talk about how they were doing, but beyond that I just didn't have much else I felt I could to relate with. Ted, Bill & Phil always had golf, sports & other guy stuff to talk about and I always felt a little left out, but just could not, and still cannot relate to GOLF! Ugh. That's all I have to say to that! And I always felt like my "girl" opinions on football & other sports were not worth the time of day to them. Now that I have learned to study, and to research and to learn, I find it just fascinating to talk to Dad about things & listen to his perspective and feel that I have something valuable to contribute to the conversation. I love being in the office & knowing that he's there working on something in his office, as I'm working on my studies in the library.
I wish that I could be as passionate about my field of study as he is about the law. I don't see how until real health care equity exists for all citizens of the country. If I could find a way to dedicate my efforts toward that end, I would be truly excited. I'm keeping my eyes & ears open, and I'll continue to learn.

Today

2011-02-18T21:45:00.002-06:00

I talked to Dad & for the first time in months he sounded good; better; like the way he normally is and should be.
I went to the Dr. about this horrible pain in the neck I've been having. I start physical therapy tomorrow. I don't have the time or money for it, but I'll do whatever I have to do. Also the Dr gave me the name of a chiropractor that he trusts so I can check into that for future use. While I understand his reasoning for preferring PT over chiropractic, and I will follow the path of least resistance, I have found that over the long term, chiropractic has been more cost effective.
Gonzo is looking at me right now & wondering why Marv is making so much noise on his electric guitar, and additionally, why we have not gone to bed. I have tried to explain that I cannot explain Marv and his noise, and that now we will at least curl up in bed & read Lamb for a while before checking out for the night.

Another day

2011-01-29T22:55:00.002-06:00

...in the life of this Weeble. Family meeting today. It's important to be united. I know my Dad is worried about how things are going in his life and at his age and state of health. Yet the fact that he organized a meeting to discuss it is just one more piece of evidence that he is still a strong and capable man who is just traveling through unfamiliar territory. What he needs to know is that we are here for him, and for Mom. We are, and there is no question that we can take care of them when needed.
I got quite a lot of homework done today. I have quite a bit more to do. But I don't feel the futility that I felt last semester. Tomorrow I will plug away at more of it.
The "thing" about school is I have to miss time at work. I do enjoy being at work, especially because when I am at work I get paid for that time! Beside that, I like the people I work with, and enjoy spending time with them. I am beginning to get to know some of the people in the program I'm in at school and suggested we have a night out to have some fun & get to know each other better. The suggestion was well received by one or two - we'll see what happens.
I miss Biff. I miss grooming him & petting on him. I miss the whole barn experience. Riding was only a small part of what I enjoy about having a horse. I miss the whole Stacey/Biff/Barn experience. Hangin out with other people there & watching them ride & take lessons; watching Stacey work horses. I'm missing it a lot.

Where Have I Been?

2011-01-09T20:10:00.003-06:00

Not far. Very near, in fact. I've been right here, but overwhelmed with school, work and the rest of my life. Why is it so overwhelming? I don't know. I just try to keep up. Oh, I guess the fact that I am compulsive about getting straight A's in school contributes to the overwhelmsion. (New word - do you like it?)
Depression, the chronic kind, is on my mind. I've battled with it most of my life. Some people say you just need to get over it & stop feeling sorry for yourself. It doesn't work that way. I have scoliosis. My mother used to tell me, when I was a kid, to stand up straight. I couldn't straighten out my spine any more than someone who is clinically depressed can "get over it". It's not a choice.
That being said, it's been a grueling semester, a lovely holiday and so far a peaceful new year for me. I'm looking at life's changes in the face and am a bit stunned. The cool thing is, I'm part of a really great family & we'll take life's changes on the chin & have a good time together. As long as we have "The Instructions" to guide us, we can get through anything.
I'd like to say that I am particularly happy that Evan has found Kelli and Stacey & Mike are together. I'm feeling good about these things.
Marv has taken up cooking. This is nice. He's nearly perfect. Nearly.

Riding

2010-07-29T22:16:00.002-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that we ride horses because we want to live vicariously through them. We want to feel and be a part of the beauty that we see in them. But through our desire we often take away from the spirit that makes them so beautiful to us. We try to make them into what we want them to be instead of enjoying what they are. Partnership with our horses can only happen when we accept them for what they are and let them show us how to be.

PTA to HIT? Life is best taken one day at time...

2010-02-05T19:21:00.005-06:00

I've made a major decision not to reapply to the Physical Therapist Assistant program. I dropped the Intro to PT course I was going to take this semester and decided to wash my hands of it. It's not that the field of work doesn't interest me, it's more that it doesn't interest me enough, and the job prospects aren't promising enough for me to devote two more years of my life to, particularly at this point in my life. Had I been accepted into the program this year, I would be devoted whole-heartedly and enthusiastically right now. But after the rug was pulled out from under my feet, and I got up and dusted myself off, I was forced to look around for something else to do with my academic time, and this coding direction I started taking has made me feel like I might have a knack for health information technology. It all seems to come fairly easily to me. Furthermore, I have to think of using my education as a means to secure skills that could lead to a type of employment that will carry me through traditional retirement age and beyond. As much as I have tried to deny it, my body being what it is - or isn't - is not going to want to perform physical therapy tasks on other people for that many years. I think I'm being sensible.

At the same time, I made a physically therapeutic re-discovery this week - kinesio-tape! My MRI of my foot didn't reveal anything more than plantar faciitis and a cyst on my ankle (Oh, and by the way, plantar faciitis is not something I should refer to as "nothing more than" - it hurts like hell, and takes forever to heal), and so the foot specialist told me to continue with the exercises (which produced more pain), and using the night splint (which produced more & different pains), and the heel cushions in my shoes (which produced some cushioning but no significant relief). But this week a co-worker told me about how she uses "magic tape" on her foot, that she gets at the running store she goes to. When she told me about it, I remembered that a chiropractor once tried using it on my back to relieve inflammation. She brought me a box of kt tape to try and I'm shocked, but my foot feels better! I actually had some relief the first day! I highly recommend kinesiotaping for whatever ails you. Maybe I could go to KinesioTape U. and get a bachelor of kinesiotaping arts degree? Maybe kinesiotape can eliminate all sorts of irritations - like an irritating boss or an irritating neighbor!

Don. That might be his name. Or it might not. But I'll call him Don for the purpose of this post. I've taken to going to one of the student lounges to study over the last couple of weekends. I've been getting over to school to concentrate on my homework a bit later in the day, so rather than set myself up in the library, only to pack it all up & move after a short time, I've set up in one of the lounges. It's not a silent study area, and I'm not surrounded by the walls of a study carrel, eliminating visual distraction. So for an adult with ADD, this isn't always the best spot for serious homework. But on the weekends, the people using the lounges are basically working just like I am, so they are relatively quiet. As is Don. I've seen him around campus. Being a college campus it's quite ordinary to see people carrying large bags full of books, laptops, water bottles & snacks. Don's probably a bit older than I am, and I noticed him in the corner of the lounge reading a book, his backpack & another bag by his side. Occasionally, he would get up & go for a walk, perhaps to smoke, and then he'd return & pick up his paperback again. Some time after the last of the other three students left the lounge for the evening, he opened his bag and took out two reusable plastic bowls and began to warm his dinner in the microwave. When I had seen him previously, sometimes he'd be in the library at one of the computers, other times watching television in the SRC, I'd suspected that he was homeless, but seeing him set up his dinner, I felt pretty sure about it. I hadn't made any conversation with him, even though we were the only ones in the room. I actually was concentrating on getting my work done, and know enough about myself that once I allow myself any verbal distraction, the work is doomed. A campus security officer came by and I wondered if he was going to send Don packing, but instead he greeted him in a friendly way and suggested they get a pizza next time - his treat - and said he'd come by later to talk for a while. Listening to the exchange and finally hearing his voice, I realized how Don was just like me or anyone else. A regular man who through some misfortune did not have a home of his own. It made me feel a little sad, but also respectful of his cheerfulness. I got to thinking about what life must be like for him and what might have landed him in the situation he was in. Did he have a job? He had money for his food and his own utensils that he brought with him, and he got an iced tea from the vending machine. I felt such an awareness of how fragile our life situations can be. We always think of life being fragile, as in life & death. But the realization that anyone could be an illness or a job loss away from loosing home and possessions overwhelmed me. Then I thought - no rent, no mortgage, no property tax - is that the up-side of the situation? A quiet place to read a book, a library with free use of a computer and lounge with a microwave to warm dinner. Yes, it was a crazy mix of thoughts & emotions as I finished the reading & work for my computer class & packed up to go home for the night. And Don curled up on the small couch. He was in the same lounge the next day when I came back and we said hello and talked briefly about the sunny weather before I started on my coding homework and he sat down with his book.

Time? to Pause? to Think? to Write...

2010-01-09T17:21:00.002-06:00

I've been wanting to get to this for some time now. As little as I think happens in my life, I'm sure there is plenty I could write about, for your benefit as well as my own. Fall semester ended. The holidays are over. Spring semester has yet to begin. So here I go...
First let me start by mentioning my reconnection with Diane ("Simone", in some circles - which happen to include just me and Diane, and Stacey, who has known Diane since she was a toddler I think, and connects with her spiritually when in need of good energy and a good parking space.). Dee & I have been friends for over 20 years I think, and though we have been separated from time to time, either by geography or by time constraints, we are never apart from each other. But this fall we met for dinner after not seeing each other for a couple of years I think, and again just before the holidays. I am hopeful that we will get together again in the next couple of weeks, before my school schedule is in full swing. Her birthday is just around the corner and she marks a milestone this year. I think it's...hmmm...49! Yes, I think that's it - 49. She can correct me if she needs or wants to when we meet next. When I think of the good friends I've lost because they passed too young, I just have to say "Happy Birthday, Simone! You mean more to me than you know and together we are forever young!"
Today I started the day with an MRI of my foot. I've been having pain in my heel & up the side of the back of my heel since July, when I had to do some hand-walking of Biff in my western boots, which are not very supportive to my feet. I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis by a PA just before we visited Eric & Chandra in August. I did the exercises & the icing thing for a time, but probably left out the resting part of the therapy. While there has been some improvement, I still have problems with pain on the outside of my heel. So now, after a visit to the foot specialist, its time to see what might be causing that. Now, he did tell me to keep up on the plantar faciitis exercises etc, and I'll give that.
After the MRI, I went to the COD Bookstore to get my books for this semester, but alas, the financial aid office still hasn't given my scholarship info to the bookstore, so I have to go the the FA office on Monday and get a voucher for my books.
From COD, I sent myself over to BR Ryall YMCA. There I took a tour, talked with one of the assistant managers, and signed myself up. With Biff in Missouri now I need to make myself spend some time in physical activity. If I don't I'll allow myself to spend all my time either behind the desk and on my feet at work, behind a desk in class or behind a desk studying. I love to study and work on schoolwork, but it is not always the healthy thing for me to be doing. My plan is to start swimming, work out some in the fitness center, and eventually join some classes that will hold me accountable. In order to keep myself from making excuses from the start, I immmediately began my search for swimwear. It's a scary proposition, but I have to get into some and get into the water. I was not able to make a purchase today, but I think I have an idea where to go.
Backing up now, the holidays were wonderful. Eric & Chandra were here and Stacey made her first trip home from Missouri. Evan, who has moved into an apartment near school was here, of course too. Ted, Kelli & Meghan, Bill & Sarah, and Phil & Christie and all my buddies were here for Christmas Day. Christmas Eve we spent with the Anderson side at Byron & Pam's in Lake Zurich and celebrated Marv's mom's 80-something-th birthday. It seems we don't get together with Byron & Pam but once a year, which is too bad, because I always enjoy our evening with them. My hat is off to them for having us all, especially Pam who is a wonderful hostess.
And my fall semester of college classes was a tough one, in that I was not studying anything I really wanted to. Not being accepted into the PT Assistant program at COD, I took a Billing & Coding class in an effort to find out if health information technology interested me at all. Well, I got an A in the class and I think I will do very well as I have decided to continue with that course of study for now. I'm not sure that a job in that field would be any more rewarding intellectually than the job what I have now, but if I need to possess a marketable skill, this is a good road to follow. Still, it is a desk job, and I need to find ways to MOVE. In addition to that, I took the second half of the math class I need as a prerequisite to any other college mathematics class I might have to take. I didn't need to take it for anything in particular at this point, but depending on what my future holds, I may need it, so I decided to get it done. I only got a C in that course and I blame that on the instructor for being a very poor educator. Given an instructor with an education degree instead of just math degrees, someone who genuinely desires to promote learning & success, I would have received a better grade in the end. I could go on about this, but I won't, as I know the subject is indeed debatable and in the long run, so goes life. I'll take the C and know that the instructor only earned a C. I learned much more than that grade suggests. The good news is that it is not a course that affects my college transcript. In other words, I still have a 4.0!
Gonzo. Gonzo is an absolute joy. Except when he steals the potatoes for roasting right out of the pan on the counter, without moving the pan. Then he is just our handsome and forgivable Gonzo. Just ask Marv. We love him, so we had couscous tonight instead of potatoes. He gets into bed with me at night and after Marv leaves for work in the morning. He is always available for snuggling & cuddling, and in fact, he often insists on it. After Baron left us I wasn't really noticing the effect on Marv & me, until Gonzo came and engaged us in what we have been used to for 30-some years - caring for someone other than ourselves. We need him. Oh, yea, we wanted to take him, but I realize now that we really needed him. He is a joy. I hope that soon Phil & Christie can begin to explain to Zachary where Gonzo is and that we will be able to take him to visit the buddies. I know they miss each other some and an occasional visit would do them all good. Z was telling me last time we were over at his house how Pinot and Gonzo were his best friends. He told me Gonzo comes on his bed & cuddles with him. I know what he means! It's nice. And I want to give him that sometimes. I'd bring Z over here, but we don't have a fenced yard for them to play in and in the house there's not enough space. Mom's would be a perfect meeting place, but that's not so practical either. In time, all in good time.
On the technology front, Evan & I got new phones this week. Droids. Sorry iPhone relatives, we wanted to stick with Verizon and since Evan was hot on the Droid, and they offered a deal, we both got them. He has the Motorola and I have the HTC Eris. Its really fun to be able to connect to the internet wherever I am and get what I want. On the other hand, the first bill hasn't come yet. I am thankful that Evan is aware of the cost and sharing in it, if not bearing the larger part. He takes good care of me on that front.
Eric & Chandra gave me Her Fearful Symmetry for Christmas and I just finished it night before last. Congrats to Audrey on another enjoyable literary adventure! I look forward again to the next and feel blessed that I was able to spend time with you on several occasions. I love your imagination. Thank you Chris for that connection. And now on to Michael Pollan who is already, in the first few pages of his book, Second Nature, is describing gardening just as I imagine it to be! Come May, we'll see what remains of the garden Marv & I started last May, and perhaps with inspiration from this book, we'll forge ahead.
Well, it's been good chatting. The cold/flu I've had for the last two weeks is taking it's toll for today and I'm wiped. It's 7:33pm and I have my glass of water, & regardless of the playoff games, am ready to climb into bed with my book & call it a day.
Tomorrow, belated birthday dinner for my Dad (since Marv & I were terribly sick last week), and the end of the semester break. Tuesday I have my orientation at the Y and I start classes this coming Thursday. They include Diagnostic Coding, Intro to PT, and Intro to Computer Info Systems. Wish me luck!

Hey!

2009-11-22T23:07:00.002-06:00

I just returned from moving Stacey to Oronogo, Missouri. I still don't think I realize how far away she is from home. It'll come to me over the next few weeks, as I realize that I am not going to ride on the weekends and she is not here for Thanksgiving. Its okay though, as I need to focus on some other things that I have either rushed or neglected. I'm really going to miss having Stacey & Biff within reach. I wish I had kissed Biff's nose before I left and patted his neck. I'll go back in a few weeks & see how he is doing and see how Stacey has made the house she is living in her own. She is very nervous tonight about getting started, I know, but once she & Liz get to know each other & get into a rhythm I know they will be a great combo.
This is the point at which, I think, Marv & I are really becoming empty nester's. Ev has moved into an apartment. Stacey is out of my immediate reach. Eric & Chandra are out in Eugene. Evan is still close, which is nice. Hmm.
Gonzo has joined us and is really fun to have here. He really is a well behaved buddy for us. He needs more exercise than we have been offering him so far, but I just don't know if there is a more snuggly dog anywhere!

Times & Changes

2009-10-02T20:13:00.003-05:00

Wow, it's been a while hasn't it? So much has happened and yet it all seems the same sometimes. I guess I left you in a bit of a lurch there, when Dad was just trying to get through the trials of his arrhythmia and the treatment thereof. Dad is much better now, but more aware of the effect of age on his body. I still choose to ignore that. He's just "Dad". He never changes in my eyes and in my heart.
The same goes for Mom, who slipped on the stairs last week and broke her wrist. She has it in a cast now. I'm hoping she can heal it up alright. I am fully aware that bones don't heal as well when we get older as they could have when we are young. She's had her share of broken bones in her life. I wonder if it gets to be "old hat" after a while!
I have to keep a closer eye on those two and it's hard to do when I'm working & going to school. Some would slow down, maybe give up the education, to get on top of these situations. Be critical if you must. But I know Mom & Dad are behind me on this college thing. So it's for them as much as me, that I want to finally get this education. I'm workin' on it. I'm in too deep to get out now.
As for the education - I'm taking a math class this semester (YUCK) and CPT Coding. Coding is what needs to happen in the health care industry for a third-party payer (aka insurance/Medicare) to pay. I was not admitted to my program of choice - Physical Therapist Assistant - and I am sorely disappointed. What makes that even worse is that my Coding class is directly across the hall from the PT Assistant Lab. I wanted nothing but that program for my educational goal and I'm not there. I'll give it one more try next year. I'll spend as much time as I can volunteering to get more clinical experience before I apply again. I have been accepted to take the Intro to PT course in the spring semester. In the mean time I will continue to work toward an Associate degree, so that I can continue toward a Bachelor degree if I need to.
Evan is out on his own now. This is especially wierd for me. Since he kept and worked such unusual hours while he was living here (and I'm quite sure that he probably still does), and he stops over frequently, nothing seems that different. Well, except I don't hear him playing his guitar. It was just after Marv & I returned from Oregon that Ev gave us the news that he was moving into an apartment with another weather geek! I think he's enjoying it and I'm happy for that as long as he continues his education. He's been wonderful about working his way through school on his own. That has to come first, and if his lease ends and he wants back in here that's fine. But seriously - who really wants to move back home once they have been on their own?
Our trip to Oregon was so wonderful! I loved being with Eric & Chandra in their own surroundings and with their friends. It was such a relaxing trip. Much needed. On previous trips we hiked and tried to take in all that we could in such a short time. This time we just chilled, hung out, played games, ate fresh fruits & veggies from their garden, enjoyed their culinary delights, their company and their community. I could live in that community quite happily. But not yet. I have some responsibilities and work to take care of.
And as Evan has moved into his own apartment, Stacey may be moving farther away than ever before. I went down to Missouri with her to interview for a new job with one of the elite Arabian horse trainers in the country. If all goes well, it looks like she will be moving in November. It's an amazing opportunity and I'm very excited for her.
We lost Baron on Easter. You likely know that. But I haven't posted anything about it. He lived to be 17. He was amazing and an incredible joy for all of us. After that, Marv said "no dogs". Guess what...
Now we have Gonzo! Phil & Christie just have too many tiny children to be able to handle him right now, and so he has come to live with us! He is so handsome and affectionate! He is a high energy dog - Aussies always are! - and I don't know if we can do him justice in the energy department, but we are loving having him here. He is adjusting nicely to his new situation & surroundings, and helps himself to bread & chips if he is hungry! Okay, that only happened once. He thinks he is a lap dog and if I get ambitious, I'll post some pictures of this phenomenon.
So this is how it is right now, right here. I'm sure I should be telling more. But this is what's on my mind at the moment.
And now it's time for sleep.

Dad

2009-06-02T19:55:00.003-05:00

Ablation procedure has been completed. Mom had to take him back to the hospital on Sunday night - His heart was racing again. I went to see him Monday morning before the procedure, and he was so miserable. I know the waiting is so difficult and the times that I have had to wait for medical & surgical procedures it has helped me to have Marv with me. Dad really didn't want us to stay with him. He didn't feel good enough to talk. I sat next to him for a bit, & he put his head down on my shoulder & I held tight to him. I haven't seen him since the ablation was done. He had to spend 6 hours lying flat & that went up to 9pm. I knew he would only want to rest as comfortably as possible after that. Mom brought him home this morning & she says he has been a good patient - resting most of the day. After work tomorrow, I think I'll go see how he's feeling. I hope he can get a good night of sleep tonight in his own bed.

A day with my buddies

2009-05-30T19:07:00.002-05:00

Spent today with Zachary & Alec. Geez they are the most cuddly little guys! I really can't get enough of them. Am I different as an aunt than I was as a mother? As a mother, I was a negotiator, a supervisor, maybe not as much of a cuddler as I am now. But with nephews & nieces you don't have to supervise & negotiate with quite the intensity, so there's more time for the cuddling. One thing that is the same is that I am an observer. I loved just watching my kids - in all their activities & situations - and I still do. I love seeing my kids do what they do and be who they are. The same is true of my nieces & nephews. I love to just observe who they are. I am in complete awe. Really. Perhaps that makes me seem distant. I don't feel that way. I feel more a part of the people I love when I don't get in the way of them being themselves by trying to make something happen between us. Does this make any sense? I only wish that Sarah & Meghan were around more often, or that I had enough time to see them more. Perhaps their new cousin and future teammate on the GFFL will bring them closer more often.
Okay, now, about me -
Yup - another A - keeping my GPA at 4.0. My anatomy & physiology class this semester was FANTASTIC! I had an awesome instructor and I only wish I could take more classes with her. Unfortunately, she may be taking a job at another school and so even if I had the time to take another one with her, it's not likely that I could. I have my application in for the PT Assistant program and just need to make sure on Monday that my physical therapist, Jeff, has submitted his documentation of my hours in therapy which fulfills my observation requirement. I still don't know how I will pull this whole thing off between my job & my budget, but I am determined & hopeful that it will all come together. Prayers are appreciated at this point. This summer I have to take one more math class to complete all the pre-req's for the program.

I'll get it together...

2009-05-29T21:55:00.002-05:00

Dad is home. For the weekend anyway. Monday the plan is to do an ablation procedure that will make his heart work effectively & efficiently. I'm feeling better about this. I want my dad to be well & enjoying his "kiddies" & his life. I know I can't enjoy mine completely otherwise. He is my rock. He is my hero. I need him to be there for me.

Denial

2009-05-28T21:45:00.003-05:00

My dad is not feeling so well. I'm in denial. He has never been unhealthy. But he is in the hospital and undergoing a battery of tests. I'm sure (I think) that a pacemaker will make him fine again. My mom is scared & very worried. She doesn't know what to do next. Tomorrow we will know more. In my mind, they are no different than they were 35 years ago when I got married & moved out of their house. I'm only a couple of blocks down the street and I can keep an eye on them from here. They seem the same as ever to me. How could this happen? I can't accept it.

Nailed it!

2009-01-06T09:29:00.003-06:00

Copied from the Student Online Services page:

View Grades displays your grades for courses taken in the term and year specified. Your cumulative grade point average and academic status are also displayed.
Fall 2008

Course Credit Hours Grade
ANAT& 1551 04.000 A
SPEEC 1150 03.000 A

Your term GPA: 4.000
Your cumulative GPA: 4.000
Your academic status: Academic Honors
Student Name: ANDERSON, KATHERINE A

I did it! I'm rather surprised because I did not feel I did well enough in either class to warrant an A, but surprise, surprise!

I've been thinking about this for a long time...

2008-12-31T17:25:00.002-06:00

...But I just haven't had the time. Well that may not be true, depending on how you look at how I use my time. Sure, I spend mindless time with my coffee in the mornings playing mahjong or such before work. Maybe I watch an episode of House every week, and have gotten myself hooked on Lost, via Netflix. Yes, I've gone to see my horse here & there. But gathering together my thoughts in regard to what I want to say to you takes time that is focused and without the distraction of knowing I have to be somewhere like work in an hour, or that I really should be studying anatomy & physiology, or the culture of Yahoo, the ethics (or lack thereof) of the health care system in the U.S., and what to think about group presentations on office politics.
I'm envious of people who can sort all those things out and still sleep at night, go out with friends, and blog about it, go to movies, keep up with current events, spend time on facebook, myspace and all those things that younger and more organized people do. Not critical, by any means, just envious. I have this desire to do it all and yet I'm realizing, that now that I am grown up and trying to do it all at once, at the age of 50-something, with financial obligations, health issues and the cost that comes with that, it's not as easy as it all used to be.
There lies the reason why children should go to college immediately following high school, discover what they want to do with their lives, and pursue that goal, even if it means additional education. It gets harder with age. It takes determination and determination gives way a little bit easier as we get older and more distracted.
Not that I wasn't determined as a younger person. I was determined to find a husband, have some children and live in a little house where we would all live happily ever after. Nothing was more important to me than that. Nothing about college or vocation was more interesting. That determination got me here.
Looking back, I would not change one thing about it. Not at all. For one thing, I never would have been so inspired to go back to school now if it were not for the examples that my children have set for me. I would not have been able to look back at the friendship I had with my friend Deb Zoller and realize how she was always continuing her education while she managed her way through her life. Okay, so if I had the power to change one thing, it would be to be able to talk with her about being in school now and to ask for her advice and direction.
So here I am. Three semesters into it. I have no doubt that my 4.0 GPA is gone after this semester. I know I said before that my B in Intro to College Algebra had killed my GPA, but I found out it didn't count as an actual college "credit" course. So now it is up to my attention-deficit Anatomy & Physiology teacher to figure out if I scraped together enough points to get an A in that class, and my Business Communications teacher to average out my excellent work and my above average work. Both classes could go either way. I expect B's in both. I have been told to accept that as pretty damn good, but I expected more of myself.
I'll be back soon to talk about the holidays and more...

Here I am

2008-12-17T21:51:00.002-06:00

Well, yea, its been a while. Semester is over.
Business Commmunications was a good class. I learned some good stuff and it made me think about more stuff than I planned on thinking about. It was a speech class, so I fumbled my way through some speeches. The first was an analysis of organizational profile on Yahoo!. Eric provided me with some insight and I read a lot of articles about the MS buy out attempts, Jerry Yang and then looked at Yahoo! in general. I only got a B on my presentation, and I know why. I didn't allow time to give critical remarks. Nobody did, in their analyses. We all got B's. I like Yahoo. I like Jerry Yang. I am glad they didn't sell out to MS. I see values in Yahoo! that serve me better than MS or Google. Definitely better than MS. While I have been "raised" on MS, I am increasingly irritated with aspects of it. Google is too silly and basically for teenagers. My research made me a Yahoo! fan. Then they laid Eric off. Damn. Damn. Crap. But I have to say I still like Yahoo!products. Then I gave my second speech on the ethical questions about health information technology. Excellent stuff! Got an A on that one. I hit the class hard with the facts of how their health records could be used and viewed. I also hit them hard with the fact that the U.S. is WAY behind in terms of utilizing technology to serve the health care needs of our citizens. Third presentation - a group presentation - big disaster. I got dry mouth, I lost track of my notes, I basically had to wing it. No idea how I did. I expect a B out of that class, but I may get an A. Both my papers I had to write were A's.
Anatomy & Physiology was the class I wanted to ace. I had this really nice, very approachable professor who was the most disorganized, unprepared, distracted teacher I have ever had. And I am going all the way back to high school on this one. Damn! I know I can memorize stuff. And I wanted to learn the whys & wherefores, but dammit, I could not get an A in that class because he never taught us anything! He showed us pictures and talked about them vaguely, while his phone would ring and he would talk about the person calling and how he was getting new tires on his car. I think I will only get a B in that class and I'm damn pissed about it because I studied hard enough to get an A. We (others in the class were with me on this) all felt we were basically sabotaged in our effort to actually LEARN about A&P. We certainly memorized stuff, but we really didn't learn about it. I'll get a B in that also. I really hate givin up my 4.0 GPA to the likes of that prof. No question he was a nice guy. No question, he was a less than mediocre teacher.
Christmas is almost here! EGads! Marv has been doing the Xmas shopping. Scary eh? Love to all. (meggie, love you babe)

The Studious Student

2008-09-26T22:03:00.003-05:00

I know I haven't been keeping up with those who might actually look here to see what's going on in my life. I've been at work, you all know that. I have been going to classes. You know that too.
This semester I am taking Anatomy & Physiology I, and Business Communications, a speech class. Truly, I am enjoying both. But A&P is hard. And I loved doing the research for my first speech in BC, but alas, my presentation was too involved and over the time limit, so I had to abbreviate. So then in my mind it became too fragmented to express the thoughts that I wanted to get across. I have to say, it is a very interesting class, and my prof is excellent. I didn't expect to be this interested in business culture and communication. On the other hand, my prof in A&P is wild & crazy. I'm not sure he should be a teacher, except that I love the way he continues to be approachable and easy going. I know he cares & is trying to help us understand, but he seems so ADHD, that it is hard to figure out where he is going & how to keep up. Maybe because I am also so very ADHD and need organization and solid structure to build upon, I get a bit frustrated. And frustration is then just another distraction. Seems everyone is having trouble figuring it all out. There was much heated discussion after class last night, after our first lab practical, where everyone felt they did badly, and felt that he did not present the exam well. Just because I am a little ADD, (really there is not an H in my condition), doesn't mean that I don't know that a teacher of anything has to structure his lessons and exams according to each other.
On other notes, I am so happy to be in touch with my Meghan, by text and also if we are ever online at the same time, at Facebook. I love having access to pictures from Ted & Bill. Phil & Christie keep me updated with pics of my little buddies. I have them on my desktop at work too, and change the pics periodically. I haven't seen any of these kids - Meg, Zachary, Alec - since Labor day, and I miss them soo much.

School, Cubbies, Football, Fantasy Football

2008-09-03T23:42:00.001-05:00

Need I say more?

No Mo' a 4.0

2008-08-01T22:30:00.003-05:00

Summer semester is over. I'll enjoy having some evenings to myself, but my weekends until Fall semester starts on August 20 are completely booked. Ted and Bill are here this weekend with my girls Sarah and Meghan, and then next weekend Eric and Chandra are home for a few days. Then the weekend of the 15th I am horse & kitty sitting for Georgia. I love feeling like a farmer for a couple of days, but I admit to being only a poser (not to be confused with poseur).

I had my final in algebra last night and while I finally felt relaxed and comfortable with the questions, it was a timed test, and I did not finish all the questions. I was not alone at the end. Many who normally finish long before me were in the same boat. I'll be getting the first non-A of my new college career. It will be my first B though - is that something to celebrate?

It's time for football to begin! Yeah! I'm pulling for Rex, but I heard he was boo-ed at Family Night at Soldier Field. I don't believe a good fan should boo anyone on their team. Naturally, we could be dissappointed, but I think booing works against the aim. I'm glad that (so far) nobody is booing me at school!

Can't believe I'm back already, can you?

2008-06-19T22:07:00.002-05:00

I can't either. But I just had to say that I was nuts to think I could take two classes this summer! I do still have A's in both, but I have so much homework to catch up on this weekend!
I did have to create a resume' and a letter of application for my Tech Writing class. I have to say I was pretty impressed with myself and think I should hire me! I also had to write a response to an editorial and was quite impressed with my political savvy! Needless to say, both assignments were not actually submitted to anyone but my instructor, but all involved are pleased with my work. I have 4 papers to write this weekend and pages of algebra homework.... Arrrghhh. I want to ride my horse!!!!!!!!

'M Back

2008-05-31T08:13:00.012-05:00

I was thinking (or not thinking) of waiting for 2009 it seems...

Another semester of outstanding studiousness has been completed, and I am proud to say I still have a 4.0 GPA! I have to admit that at the age of 53, considering that these have all been intro level classes, I should have straight A's in the bag, but not so. I've had to work at this quite a bit. I've been told by some that I've worked too hard at some parts - for example my final presentation in Biomedical Ethics on the health care system/debacle in the U.S. Looking back at it, I suppose I did more research than was necessary for the sake of a discussion on the ethics of the issue, but it turns out that it was a subject I feel quite passionate about and I couldn't present a possible solution, as I was directed to do as a conclusion, without a better understanding of what other possibilities there might be. My Psychology class proved challenging in a completely different way. I was not feeling at all passionate about the subject, although in parts it was interesting. What made school much more enjoyable this semester were the new friendships developed with a couple of fellow students. I hope that I will have opportunties to spend time with them again. We have exchanged email addresses and phone #'s, which has proved useful and entertaining.

This semester I am taking Intro to Technical Writing - a course that should prove useful, and Fund. of College Math. Yes - I have to learn algebra again. I didn't like learning it in the first place, some 35+ years ago, I don't expect to enjoy it this time, but fortunately my math-whiz son has offered to tutor me through it if I need him to. With these English & Math requirements out of the way, I'll be getting closer to the nitty-gritty of what I want to be studying. In the fall I'll begin Anatomy & Physiology for two sememsters, and I'll just have to take Math for Health Sciences, and a Speech class along the way. By next June I should be able to apply to the PTA program, unless another field of interest takes me in another direction. I have a certain amount of interest in radiology, but the program at COD is so popular there is a waiting list to get into it. My friend Tacz tells me there is a new radiology program opening at Elgin Community College, but that would be so far from home or work, that it could be too much of a challenge. Perhaps keeping up my 4.0, and my age/experience level might push my entrance possibilities up the scale. Who knows. I just keep taking this thing one step at a time and I'll see how it goes.

Marv & I managed to get away in April for another visit to the Riviera Maya in Mexico. He won the trip again, and I'm sure he has deserved such a reward many times over for as hard as he works. We visited the Mayan ruins in Tulum and Coba this time, and I'll be getting the pictures together soon. Here's one nice shot from Tulum:

I also spent about a day & a half of the time studying in our hotel room while Marv did some walking and putting and general nosing around the resort. People said I was crazy to spend time on my vacation studying, but it was just a week or two before finals, and besides - it was such a comfortable, pretty place to be studying and the solitude was helpful. My only distractions were outside the door to the balcony, and I did have to partake of the company of the birds and flowers and warm air while I worked for some parts of it.

Work at the store remains challenging, as the economy tries to affect us. We had a fantastic first quarter and beginning of the second quarter, but then a couple of tough weeks in May. It looks to be picking up again, with show season upon us and young kids taking riding lessons or going to riding camps for their summer vacation entertainment. I'm overseeing the installation of a new website for the store, and this is not easy for me, with so many other responsibilities, to gather together all the necessary product information. If this website takes off, it will mean that I will have to give up some of the responsibilities that I feel I do better than anyone, and delegate them somehow to people who might not understand or appreciate the complexities of keeping things in order. I've always been a hands-on, in the trenches sort of manager. This has been my only way of staying informed. What will I do if I can't do it all? Another problem facing me is that with my interests in academics increasing, I find the discipline of concentration on my job waning. I'm running out of the extra time and energy to be the workaholic that I have been known for.

I still haven't been riding as much as I would like to be. Not nearly enough to recoup my skill since the collarbone fracture and the back problems. Stacey is on the road a lot now with horse shows, and so Biff hasn't been able to get as much work and training from her. When this happens, he just seems to get an attitude - which horses can do when their work is not consistant. If you think of his job like that of any human athlete, you can then imagine how he might feel about working out consistantly 3-5 days a week, then not working for two weeks or so, then being asked to work out at the same level again for a day or two, then off again for a week, and so on. So what this all means as far as my riding is that since I don't have the fitness level I need to work through his needs on the weekends she is gone, it is not particularly rewarding for either Biff or me for me to ride him. I spend time with him on the ground, but unfortunately neither of us becomes more mentally or physically fit for riding that way.

And on that note: The clavicle is healed. At least that is what my shoulder guru says, and I do believe him. Why it took so long is a question that remains, but his thought was that I was just a slow healer. Maybe I did some things sooner than I should have and put additional stress on it, who knows, but it is finally mended. My shoulder - now that I can lay on that side and attempt full use of it - is not feeling perfect, but I will give that time before checking back in with the Dr. The low back problem is the greater evil at this point, so I will tend to that. Since my last post I have had two nerve ablation procedures done, and was feeling so perky and confident about things until last weekend when I had another flare up, not more than 3 weeks after the last ablation. I saw my back Dr. about that yesterday and his feeling is that it is still the very same facet joint causing the pain, and another ablation procedure might be needed. In the mean time, he suggested a tune-up at physical therapy, and an oral steroid regime for the next 6 days to treat the inflammation. I took the first dose last night and can feel the difference already this morning. Hmmmm. I find this all very frustrating and somewhat discouraging, as I want to get on with my life. My kids are grown, I'm working full time, I'm in college after all these years, and I want to ride my horse. I want to pursue a new career in a few years that might require that I be at a higher fitness level. I hope that my therapist can help me find that level or a comfortble path to it. In the mean time, all this has been costing me thousands of dollars, which brings me back to my topic in ethics class:

Why is our national health system a free market system that can ration its services to only those who can afford to pay for it? Why is health care not a right of all citizens? Try watching Michael Moore's "Sicko" and then the Frontline program (available online) "Sick Around the World" which conveniently aired just as I was preparing my ethics presentation. The additional interviews with Uwe Reinhardt and Tseng May Cheng are very interesting as well. I've included the link to the PBS site where you can watch the program to the left along with other sites that were of interest. Look up HealthLawProfBlog online and see the post there by RoCali. She says an awful lot about the reality of what happens even to those of us who believe we have the advantage of health insurance these days. I could go on and on, and if you would like me to I will. But for now I'll stay off my soap box and keep my rants to deliver in person. Stay well. I'll be back.

Wait, Wait! It's 2008 Already?

2008-01-01T09:18:00.000-06:00

Where have I been? Well, to begin with, work takes up the majority of my time, especially with the holiday crunch that meant extra hours. Then there has been my class at COD and the studying to memorize all those medical terms, then two nights each week I've had physical therapy for my back, and the daily 45 minutes or so of home exercise for the same (okay so I do admit to missing a few of those days), a day each weekend in Wisconsin to see Stacey & Biff, and my buddy Georgia once or twice and going to a few Bears games with my brothers, and then suddenly here it is a new year! Wait! I wasn't finished with the last one!
Work has been more challenging than I remember it being in years past. I suppose with school and health issues weighing on my mind, my focus at the store has been affected. And I also suppose that this year I have been taking on more responsibility for purchasing, and it can be a worrysome task. What is purchased, has to SELL! I don't like to take risks anymore than anyone along those lines, but I do know that it takes new merchandise to attract the the general interest of the buyer. Knowing the right new merchandise to attract our very conservative market is not an easy task. The store owner, who has the primary responsibility for all this, is extremely conservative in areas where I am more liberal and vice versa. We go head to head sometimes, but all in all I think we do well that way. I hope she feels the same. Sales for 2007 exceeded 2006, not by a huge margin, but a healthy one. Now it will be interesting to see how our purchasing matched up.

I finished my class with an A, are you surprised? Out of a total possible of 848 points, which included 9 of 10 quizzes (lowest quiz score was dropped - mine being 1 point shy of a perfect score), attendance, mid-term and final exam, I earned 836 - the highest point total of my class. I suppose I could have done a couple of extra credit papers to make it a perfect score for the class, but I figure why not just take some of those points off the quiz that was dropped?! Now that I have my feet wet in this college thing, I'm going to take two classes next semester - Psychology and Biomedical Ethics.

Ah, the shoulder & back issues.... You couldn't wait to hear about that stuff again could you. Well, since the only people who possibly read what I write down here, are Phil & Eric, and they have heard it all before, I'll just say this:
Shoulder - not healed. Reasons - could be me (some patients just don't heal well); could be the surgery wasn't all that it should have been. Shoulder guru doctor says we'll look again in Feb and see how the clavicle looks. His initial remark the last time he examined it was "A bone that is healed does not hurt." So as long as I have this pain, I know there is a problem. If it's not looking like there's progression in the healing, he'll recommend a CT scan to decide if a new surgery could fix the darn thing.
Back - well, since my right side is compromised by the injured clavicle, that puts a lot of additional strain on my already compromised left side. The MRI showed that I had severe arthrosis (arthritis) of the left L5-S1 facet joint (with a few other things going on in the area, mostly due to my scoliosis), which after 3 weeks of physical therapy and then a major pain flare-up in November, the Dr & I decided to inject. The procedure was changed to a nerve block once I was under the fluoroscope, since there was no space left in the joint to put the needle in. So the two nerves to the joint were blocked (medial branch block). This is done as much for the purpose of diagnosis as to relieve the pain. It's only temporary relief, but if effective, it proves that my pain is caused by that arthritis, and that I could be a good candidate for a more long term treatment called radiofrequency ablation. Basically speaking, those same two little nerves are burnt, so that no pain signal goes from that specific joint to my brain. They eventually can grow back, but the procedure is usually effective for 6 months to a year at time, and if the pain returns, the procedure can be repeated. I had my second block done yesterday, as the pain was back after four or five weeks, and now the Dr and I will talk again in two weeks about whether or not the RFA is in my future. Check out Spine-Health.com if you are interested in any of this. I've found it most informative.

5 for 5!

2007-10-10T20:27:00.000-05:00

Hey! As of tonight I'm five for five on perfect quiz scores! I didn't think I'd get it this week, since I blew off studying for the most part until late Sunday afternoon, then took time to watch the first half of the Bears/Packers game; at which point I went to bed thoroughly disgusted. So I had to cram the chapters on the respiratory and cardiovascular systems into my brain, basically, in two nights. Mind you this is just a terminology class, but there are sure a heck of a lot of terms to know the spellings and meanings of from the physiology of the structures to the clinical procedures, pathologies and lab terms. I was really thinking that this would be the quiz that would get "thrown out" as far as final grades go. I can breathe a little easier knowing I still have that one in my pocket. Next week is the mid-term exam, and that one is cumulative, so I've got a lot of review to do now.
And now, back to the Bears game....
I guess the jinx is back on me. If I watch a game on tv during the regular season they do miserably. If I stop watching, they wage a successful comeback, as in Sunday, or the AZ game last year; or I just have to not watch at all. I wish I could get behind Griese, but I still have no confidence in him or anyone associated with the offense. We are still a team with a "D" that can work wonders, but our "O" just makes me scratch my head and wonder what the heck is going on. However, if anyone happens to ask me to go to the game this week, I'll be right there, as my jinx does not apply if I am watching at Soldier Field - only when I watch on tv.
Tomorrow Mom & I will take care of Zachary, while Phil bowls and Christie swims. I love playing with him, but it did occur to me that I might be overstimulating him and keeping him from getting to his normal bedtime and a good night's sleep. I know I should quiet things down and read to him. But he seems just as eager to play until he can't play anymore. I loved when he fell asleep in my arms the first night we babysat. It brought back such good memories. Those days pass by so quickly and I'm glad that I memorized them and committed them to memory - both mental and physical. I hope that P & C are doing the same. I remember watching Z fall asleep in C's arms months ago at Mom & Dad's and thinking, "memorize this moment-it will never happen again". I guess we should think that way about many things. Perhaps 11 things.
Eric and Chandra are coming in November! On Marv's birthday, no less. We will all go see Robert Fripp and the League of Crafty Guitarists at Park West and then I think that that Saturday night everyone should be together at Mom & Dad's. The new baby will be here! How about Brad & Becky too, Chris and Erica, and can Shannon come? I'd love to see her again. If it is a bash, I will not feel bad about not being with my lovely horse.
I rode him! Finally! It was sooooooo wonderful. He is so strong and full of energy. Even for being a lazy horse, I can feel his potential for great things. I could swear he is just waiting for us to rise to his level. Riding other horses does not compare. I can't wait to ride him again.
I saw a new Dr about my collarbone last week. As you are likely to already know, the Dr who did my surgery, etc, etc, moved to West Virginia and left me hanging. So I went to a whole new practice, OAD Orthopaedics. I saw one of their physiatrists, who will look after my back issues, and he recommended their shoulder guru. Seems like a good move. Updates will follow.

MilkToast

2007-09-30T16:16:00.000-05:00

That's the only thing that comes to mind when I think of the Bears offense and the very offensive coaching for Chicago. I'm not sure why, but that is just the feeling that comes over me. Lovie Smith's leadership by "commitment" (to the quarterback) is the most flawed approach I could imagine. It only builds weakness. Competition and discpline builds strength and I haven't seen any of that, especially since Lovie got his shiny new contract. But what do I know? Besides that though, I have never had so much fun watching a Bears game on tv as I did today, cheering all the while for the Lions. Next week I think I'll wear yellow and green.
I'm three for three on my quizzes so far in Biomedical Terminology. I've never studied so hard in my life. And now that I've got how I feel about the Bears off my chest, I must get back to it.

2007-09-17T20:25:00.000-05:00

Two quizzes so far and no wrong answers yet. I've gone through about a thousand terms, prefixes, suffixes, and combining forms and I'm still running with an A in the class. We have a break this week; some sort of inservice gives us a day off, so I have until next week to study up for quiz number three. I do need the extra time because I had to work this weekend at the store and I HAD to go to the Bears game.
It was great to be back at Soldier Field again. I don't think I went to any of the games last year. In fact, I know that I didn't. The year before? Hmmm, can't remember if I have been there since the new stadium opened. I love it. It was great to see Devon Hester do his thing. And the defense was outstanding as usual. I had hoped that Rex would have had a better day. But I still don't think the O-line gives him much of a chance. I just don't believe it's all Rex's fault that the offense doesn't perform better. Let's just hope for more positive change before next week. I'm down to crossing my fingers and toes, rubbing a lucky rabbit's foot (that would be a foot that is still attached to a live and thriving rabbit), and saying a prayer that the football gods will look favorably on the Bears.
Friday I will see a new Dr about my crookedness and the pain in my low back. "I've had it up to here with the likes of (those) guys", but with my insurance deductible paid for the year and my annual out of pocket expense almost maxxed, this is the year to get caught up on all my medical conditions that are in need of attention. There really aren't that many, but since the diagnostics can cost so much and so little is covered by my insurance, I just have to get the job done.
Okay, now it's time to eat the dinner which Marv has prepared.

My! It's been a while, eh?

2007-09-04T20:52:00.000-05:00

Not to worry, I am here, keeping busier than ever it seems. Since the last you heard from me (unless I have seen you over the last few days) I have rejoined the health club and started back two or three times a week, and then fell by the wayside again. I'll get back there soon, but I have to get used to my new endeavor: I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT! Go figure, right? Why would I do such a thing? The answer is long and involved:
Once, about 33 years ago, I worked in the Physical Therapy Dept of Marionjoy Rehabilitation Hospital. I was fascinated by the work done there, by the patients as well as the therapists. But at that time all I really wanted out of life was having a little house and some kids. So I had some kids and we all lived happily (right, kids?) in the (too)little house. As the years went by my career path was determined by the necessities of each day and I found a certain level of success in sales and sales management. It provided enough to keep us in shoes and for me to get involved in my horse habit/hobby, which was something I have dreamed about since I was a little girl. That hobby and my sales/mgmt experience led me to the comfy little job I have now, as a tack shop manager, which I will say is very pleasant.
But thanks to that hobby, I just spent about 12 weeks in physical therapy. I had plenty of time at the pulleys, hand treadmill, and various other activities there to observe and find my fascination again with the work of physical therapy and rehabilitation. One day, at therapy, as I was working at lifting my arm up above my head, I thought, 'I should do this.' There were no trumpets or heavenly choirs heralding this revelation, I just thought, 'I should do this.'
That thought sat down in the back of my mind, crossed its legs and waited. Then something terrible happened.
My best friend from high school and beyond; the one who actually helped me get that job at Marionjoy 33 years ago, died. Deb Zoller Fisher, only 52, died suddenly on July 4. I was told it was a blood clot - in her lung. She and I had so many wonderfully good times together over the years. Unfortunately we had lost touch with each other over the last few, but I thought of her constantly. Debbie and I were in each other's weddings. She then went on to marry two more times. She spent many years on her own, and through it all, she would take classes at U of I in Champaign/Urbana. One after another, she took classes, as they interested her, as she could afford them, while supporting herself and later on supporting her children as well. She lived in student housing, she lived simply, shopped resale, and worked co-op's to provide sustenance. I was always amazed at how she did it all, and never seemed to loose heart. Finally she said to me one day that she realized she had taken enough classes that she might as well get a degree. She then finished her Bachelor's, proceeded to get a Master's degree, and then one day exclaimed to me how incredible it was that there were people willing to pay her for all her knowledge and so why not get a Doctorate! She was just about finished with it when she was suddenly gone. I'm sad that I will never get another chance to see her in my lifetime. But I am even sadder that she was not able to realize that accomplishment. I was so proud of her.
And so, I thought that if she could put every effort she could into her education, even in times when she didn't know where it would lead her, that I could give it a try now too. I submitted my application to College of DuPage, got accepted, took the placement tests - which, I want you to know placed me into HONORS ENGLISH - and registered for classes. COD has a Physical Therapy Assistant program that I plan to try for, and that is my goal as of now. Who knows where this will lead, but I enrolled in one class to start with: Biomedical Terminology. I did actually register for a speech class too, but decided one class was enough to test the waters for this semester, and so I dropped Speech. The class has met twice so far. Tomorrow is my first quiz. I've been a studying fool - something I never was, EVER before! I spend about 2 hours each day working on exercises and flash cards and trying to memorize hundreds of words, combining forms, prefixes and suffixes. All I can say is "Hang on to your epithelial cells!" I hope it all goes well. I'll try to keep you posted...

Getting on with life

2007-07-15T17:06:00.000-05:00

I saw the Dr last Wednesday for the last time. We talked about the nagging pain I've been having versus the full range of motion and continued strengthening of my shoulder. I told him that I'm ready to get on with life, more specifically riding, but the continuing pain was quite bothersome. So he injected my AC (acromioclavicular) joint, which he thought to be irritated by the fact that it was ever so slightly narrowed - partially by age, and partially by the surgery. And wah-lah! I feel like a new person! Okay, well, new in an old person sort of way. That done, I will allow him to move to West Virginia if he must. I still think we need the likes of him around here, but I can't blame him for taking advantage of a new opportunity.
So finally I got to ride yesterday! Not my horse, of course, but old faithful Bullwinkle. It felt good to get around the ring and realize I can still walk, trot and canter reasonably well. The legs are still there. I haven't lost as much strength as I thought, and I was surprised that I was not tired out. Bullwinkle ran out of steam before I did. My shoulder felt good throughout. I hope I'll have opportunities to ride another horse or two before I get back on Biff. Stacey's plans to show him in September will likely keep me from riding him much - if at all - before then.
I see my physical therapist this week for the last time too. I still need to continue an exercise program at home, but I don't think I'll need to go in to see him. Too bad, because I've enjoyed meeting everyone there and its been very educational. I'm fascinated with the work that they do. As a matter of fact, I'm seriously considering studying the work they do. The paperwork to attend COD has been started. I just can't quit my day job to do it, so we'll see if I can work it out.

Life in the Fast Lane...

2007-07-07T20:43:00.000-05:00

We finally have DSL. Whew! All that trying to convince Marv that it was time, was to no avail, so I just did it myself. Oh, and who do I find here zipping thru cyberspace this morning when I got up???? I'll give you a hint. He's the one who was the stick in the mud all along. Go figure.
So now as I slowly learn how to do the things I couldn't even attempt before, you can see that I have my flickr account going and am starting to upload pictures. Unfortunately, on his last storm chasing trip, Evan let go of the tripod for a moment and the high winds near the tornados in Canada took out the brand new camera, smashing the lens to bits. So it will likely be awhile before there are more new photos. At least Eric can look at Baron's smiling face, and all of you can see Biff, and Merlin, Stacey's most snuggly and very large cat.
I am still distressed about the pains in my shoulder and collarbone area, and about the abandonment by my Dr and my therapist. My new therapist is really quite wonderful and I like his take on things. I'd like to keep him as a personal trainer, but at $50 a pop, twice a week, he's kind of expensive. I've got two more sessions with him and one last appointment with my Dr before he leaves. We'll see what the concensus is after that.

Feelin a little bummed

2007-06-25T21:37:00.000-05:00

I know - I haven't posted anything in a while. It seems that the status of my shoulder healing dominates my thoughts and my posts, and I figure that isn't all that interesting to anyone. But that's what is on my mind so you might as well hear about it anyway. I've had my good days and my not so good days. I wish I could report that I feel as good as new, but I still don't. I realize that I may not ever feel the same as I did before. But it is still the goal. I've had some days with some unexpected increase in the pain and swelling around the ol' collarbone. My Physical Therapist convinced me finally to see the Dr about it and he did xray it again and assure me that all is well with the healing process and the hardware. Further discussions with my therapist brought us both to the thinking that I have some adhesions that are pulling and causing the pain. Massaging the scar and the area around it is supposed to loosen that up. I sure hope so. There is also the possibility of irritation from the hardware. Time will tell on that one, and if it really does continue to be a problem more surgery would be needed. If I sound a little discouraged, it could be so. My Dr informed me that he is leaving for a new position in West Virginia, and so I will have to follow up with someone new in the future. I have one more appointment with him before he leaves, and it's likely that I'll be cut loose at that point anyway, but still I feel distressed. Then today, my therapist told me she is moving to the Bartlett office and so I'll have to switch to a different therapist! I feel insecure about the annoying pains that continue - however normal they may be - and I feel like my support system is dissolving. I'll get back to you once I perk up a bit....

My life in a nutshell

2007-05-22T20:31:00.001-05:00

Being a nut, it is often too easy to live life in a shell. I don't mean too, but thats the way it is I guess. I'm sitting here feeling incredibly sad that I didn't realize Phil was going to Ted's concert. I really, really wanted to go, but knew that I was not really up to the drive if it was just going to be Mom & me. I love to hear his choir, and to be with him when he is doing something he loves so much. But I didn't pursue the issue adequitely, and I missed it. I wish you could experience what I feel when I listen to my brother sing with his friends in such beautiful places. This looks like the church that Mom & I saw Opus sing in last fall, but I could be wrong. I see that Bill Cope is back with the choir, and I am happy to about that. I'm sorry I missed it.
In other news - news that you may be very tired of hearing about - I've hit a bit of a set back in my physical therapy. Apparently, I've got angry and inflamed attachments to my collarbone. I'm frustrated and disappointed, but I guess we just need to slow things back down for a bit and see if my shoulder can catch up to my desire to get moving.
Spent Mother's Day hangin' with Mom, Dad too, Phil & Christie, and Zachary. That Z is sooo cute! I wish Meghan and Sarah could have been with us too. Not to mention Ted, Becky, Bill & Eliz, Eric, Chandra, Stacey, and so on...
Evan is off chasing storms this week. He's working on this trip and will be again on another trip this summer. Cool thing that he gets to get paid to do the things he loves to do. I certainly don't wish for any damage and destruction, but I hope he gets some good storms to chase. And naturally, I want him chasing the storms not the other way around!
Stacey had just one week off between horse shows last week and this week is off to Milwaukee for a 4 day show. A 4 day show usually means she will be away from home for about 6 days. She showed our horse Biff two weeks ago, and he looked beautiful taking a 3rd place in a good sized class. She will take him again the weekend of June 1 to Springfield and see what he can do. They are a gorgeous pair to watch. Well that is if he behaves himself! Maybe I can get a decent picture or two then. Last time my hands were shaking so that my pics were all out of focus.

On the mend!

2007-05-07T20:11:00.000-05:00

I had another visit with my Dr today. I had xrays taken first and then was led back to the exam room to wait for the Dr. He seemed particularly busy today, but that is beside the point. I paced anxiously and looked at all the lovely charts and pictures of knees, and shoulders, and feet, and hands; paying particular attention to the shoulder chart. Finally, as I was hiding behind the door (thats where they had all that informative matter), the Dr came in and after he found me, we got to look at the pictures. There is bone growth and it is right where it belongs! All my hardware is firmly in place and it looks like my collarbone is finally on the right track!!! Yeah!!!!!!!! He said that he would fax new orders to physical therapy and we can finally start some active range of motion and strengthening. I left there and went to therapy, and got to roll a rubber ball up and down the wall and bench press a one pound weight on a cane! How many of you have tried that???

We're Back

2007-04-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

Our vacation to the Riviera Maya resort was, shall we say, relaxing. I thought of documenting in photos all of the things I did NOT do, but that would have taken too much time and effort, and then it would not have been a relaxing vacation, would it? In a nutshell, here is a list of what I did not do: I did not swim, snorkel, scuba dive, jet ski, parasail, play golf or horseback ride; I did not participate in exercise classes, beach volleyball, or fishing expeditions; I did not even play billiards or ping pong. All of these things would have involved use of my right arm. What I DID do was lay on the beach in the shade of an umbrella and read my book, sit on the beach and soak up the breeze, watch the waves, watch the people, ponder our place in the universe, walk on the beach, take pictures of the beach, drink margharitas on the beach, drink daiquiris on the beach, drink beer on the beach, drink wine on the beach, stick my feet in the Caribbean, play tag with the waves - they were out to get me - and on Monday the 23rd we took a trip to the ancient Mayan village of Chichen Itza.
Chichen Itza was fascinating, and I wish we could have spent more time there. With a two hour trip each way to the site and back, a stop for lunch, and a stop at one of the sink holes that provided water to the ancient Mayans, we really only had about 3 hours total to visit the site, and our tour guide Luis used two of those to give us a detailed tour. He was fabulous actually. I wouldn't have minded if he had continued for the entire time we were there, but he left some of the time for everyone to wander and take pictures and shop from the Mayan merchants that sell their wares along the paths. We did not shop, but Marv climbed up to the observatory, and on the Temple of Warriors. Because of the erosion caused by millions of feet, they no longer allow visitors to climb the other temples. There were many things that impressed me about the site, the civilization and its decline, but one note that I think is important to know, is that all the temples and buildings had been eroded by the jungle and its elements, and that archeologists have reconstructed the buildings from the original stones, piece by piece. Nothing that was missing was replaced by new materials, and so once they no longer have original materials, the reconstruction is stopped and the buildings are completed only to that point. There are still piles of rubble that were once structures of the ancient Mayans, and seeing that I was amazed that those piles of stone could be pieced together into anything. And so there is still much that remains for the scientists to work on and discover. And much for visitors to marvel at even more in the future. I'm working on getting some of our pictures up here. I've created a Flickr account, but since I still have dial-up service here, uploading the pictures is tedious. Soooon, I promise.
My physical therapy is progressing well. It surprises me after every visit how much "doing nothing" can ache when you are all done. So far its all passive range of motion exercises, and my therapist has been heard repeatedly saying, "Gimme, gimme!", as I have a hard time keeping my arm and shoulder relaxed and letting her move them about. Monday I see the Dr again, and the PT team is anxious for the go ahead to get to give me some real work to do! Yikes! I'm already spending my evenings snuggling my ice pack. But actually I look forward to getting on with it.

Oh, and...

2007-04-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

I find it interesting, perhaps suspicious somehow, that Phil & Christie managed to schedule the due date of this next baby to be during the two weeks in November when the Bears are on the road! How did they do that? While many were excited to hear about the timing of the event when both the NFL and Phil made their announcements this week, Nate Vasher was simply stunned, asking "How did they find out before we did?"

I forgot to mention that I was eventually told by the Dr that titanium implants rarely set off the metal detectors in airport. We'll see if he was just toying with me or not....

Today, yesterday, & the day before that....

2007-04-11T20:23:00.001-05:00

Monday I had another visit with my Dr. All seems to be well with my new titanium plate and the attached collarbone. Our trip to Mexico is coming up next week and so I asked him about getting thru the airports with my new metal appliance, and he said that actually I should have no trouble getting out of the country, but it is likely coming back could be a problem. He said that I would probably be detained in Mexico for 3 - 4 weeks while he puts together the appropriate paperwork and sends it to the authorities. I said that would be okay as long as he personally would cover all my expenses during my extended stay in the Mayan Riviera, including lost pay from missing work. He said he would take care of all that, in fact he would provide me with his credit card information. I thanked him for that and promised to buy him lots of gifts. Keep this all in mind and if I am not back home safely on April 26, please contact my lawyer - aka Dad. I'm sure he'll know just what to do! In any case, I can start physical therapy now; just range of motion exercises for now. No strengthening yet. It's going to be quite a while before I'm riding again. I miss it, I do, but I have no interest in riding before I'm healed. Some may think that riding a horse is a very passive activity, but believe me it is not. I'll need my arm & shoulder strength back just to get back on, not to mention everything else, and even then I'll need to build up overall strength and stamina. Riding is not for the weak or faint of heart.

Backing up a day, Phil & Christie announced on Easter that another baby is in production, due for release in November! Just as I thought. Phil thinks it will be a girl, but I'm not ready to guess. I think it would be pretty cool for two little brothers to be so close in age. Two little Phils, just think of the possibilities. Poor Christie wouldn't stand a chance against all that! But I'm sure she would have fun.

It snowed today. Many people were heard complaining about snow in April, and the return (again) of winter. I say, "Grow up and face facts! This is the Midwest!" There is nothing unusual about snow in April. I remember 28 years ago today, when Grandpa passed away, it snowed the day of the funeral. It was a wet slushy snow just like what we had today. Come July or thereabouts, those same silly people will be complaining about the heat, humididty and perhaps even lack of rain. Go figure.

The Healing Process...

2007-04-03T19:19:00.000-05:00

First full day back at work. I needed to take a pain pill about 2:00 and give it about 30 - 40 minutes to kick in. I'm trying to be very protective of my investment, and I fear that the staff at the store may feel I'm not carrying my share of the load. An unfounded fear some would say, but I like being able to carry out any duty I would ask of them, and so it is difficult for me to sit still and ask someone else to step up. Today I'm afraid I may have inadvertantly offended one of the very special people that works with me by asking her to step up in front and take a customer. There were others that could have done it just as well, but I felt that it was her turn. I could have been wrong. I just couldn't do it myself. I'll have to clear the air with her tomorrow, I guess.
Over the weekend I took a road trip with my friend Georgia. Her horse is in training down in Tuscola where Stacey used to work. It was good to see the old place, old friends, and our old trainer Brian. Fences were mended.
Then on Monday, Stacey and I took another trip back to Tuscola. This one to visit with our good friend Holley, who worked with Stacey for Brian, and to see the very best chiropractor in the whole world, our buddy Dr Hemmer. My sling has been pulling on my neck so very much that I've been having a perpetual headache. He was able to gently realign my neck and give me relief. He does a bang up job on Stacey, who with wrestling young horses and old, as well as dealing with uncommon stress levels, can get herself tied up in knots. Then we did a little shopping at the outlet mall there and at Pard's Western Shop in Urbana. Shopping is always good therapy!

Finally...

2007-03-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have been screwed. Plated, grafted and screwed. My new xray looks very much like the one below, only much nicer - smaller, more feminine - and without that crooked screw in the middle. Six very nicely aligned screws hold the plate to my now perfectly aligned clavicle, and bone grafting is in place throughout to help it heal properly. The surgery was not as painful as I expected, however I am now realizing how the associated musculature had deteriorated in just three months time. NO, I'm not trying to lift weights or something so foolish, its just that there are muscles that had drifted off into complacency that have now been reassigned their positions and duties, and they are speaking out on the subject. All in all, I'm very glad I made the decision to get this thing fixed. Do I regret not doing it earlier? No. There was no apparent reason not to give it a chance to heal on its own. It just didn't heal on its own. Perhaps that is where the term "Lazy-Bones" comes from!
In other news, our passports have arrived. The photos are as hideous as the ones from our last passports from 25 years ago. This time we don't look like hippie criminal types. We just look like goofy middle-aged types. I'm afraid all my fun new clothes will reveal the "artistry" performed on me last Friday. Too bad. I shall wear the bright colors of purple, yellow, blue, red and green as a badge of honor and bravery. Yes - I was very brave - so brave that Stacey said I could have ice cream!
Oh, and I did show the Edwin Smith Papyrus bit to my Dr on Monday, and he said that perhaps he might want to try the yarn and honey form of treatment on the next clavicle fracture patient - that is if he can figure out a way to dodge the impending lawsuit!

Third times' a charm?

2007-03-20T19:23:00.000-05:00

So there I was all prepped. Stacey & Marv were there waiting in the pre-op area with me. My Dr had already been in once to say hello, talk about the surgery and say that we were almost ready to go. I had my cute little bonnet on my head, and then my Dr reappears and says, "I have to cancel your surgery for today" Okay so this is too wierd to be real, so Stacey & I can hardly hold back the laughter! But yes, I am home again tonight without having my collarbone repaired. There was a tiny hole in the sterile draping that wrapped the custom appliances that were to be installed, and so there was no way to continue today. So I will have to wait until Friday to get screwed. As if I haven't enough already! I'm actually starting to look forward to it. Go figure.

Screwed!

2007-03-17T07:53:00.000-05:00

Oh no, its not what you think. Surgery was rescheduled! (for Tuesday) Seeing as how one of my regular office visits had to be rescheduled because my Dr got tickets for the Super Bowl, I'm suspicious that he has now come down with a severe case of March Madness! I guess it will work out for the better, but I have to say that I was not in a "happy place" after I got the call on Thursday. I had made all arrangements at work, had gone & gotten the dreaded blood test done, and was mentally prepared to spend my weekend feeling much like I did over Christmas. Still this gave us time to get the passport things finalized for our trip, and it gives me a couple more days to get clothes for the trip, finish up laundry and deliver music that I ordered for my friend Georgia (a music teacher in Delavan, WI), so that her lessons can proceed as planned.
Speaking of clothes for the trip - I'm getting pretty darn daring here with my new wardrobe! Capri's! Egad! My legs haven't seen the sun in years, so I won't expose any more than my ankles to the world. Now I must find some really trendy shoes or sandals to go with, and (you won't believe this part) I'm even thinking that when I get down there I will try a pedicure! The idea of someone touching my feet still frightens me, but I figure if I can overcome the trauma of the surgery I'm about to have, then I can brave it through a pedicure.
Later...

Self Improvement

2007-03-13T19:51:00.000-05:00

Edwin Smith Papyrus: A Fracture of the Clavicle
- examination: if thou examinest a man having a break in his collar-bone (and) thou shouldst find his collar-bone short and separated from its fellow.
- diagnosis: thou shouldst say concerning him : "One having a break in his collar-bone. An ailment which I will treat."
- treatment: thou shouldst place him prostrate on back, with something folded between his two shoulder-blades; thou shouldst spread out with his two shoulders in order to stretch apart his collar-bone until that break falls into its place. thou shouldst make for him two splints of linen, (and) thou shouldst apply one of them both on the inside of his upper arm. thou shouldst bind it with yarn, (and) treat it afterward with honey every day, until he recovers.
See http://wheelessonline.com/ortho/clavicle_fractures

What I want to know is: where was the honey and yarn when I first needed it?

After much contemplation, quite a number of visits to the Dr and one xray after another, I have made the decision to get screwed on Friday. Okay, I apologize for being crass, but that's what they do these days when the yarn & honey treatment fails. The photos are not xrays of my collarbone, but mine looks similar. It still hurts. I describe it as though someone or some thing has sunk their teeth into the front of my shoulder and just rips at it whenever it feels provoked. This creature is easily provoked, mind you. Toothbrushing, reading in bed, adjusting the covers, steering the car, tying shoelaces and pulling on socks or opening the refrigerator are just a few of the things that can set off the snarly toothed monster. I've had it up to "here" with the likes of this creature! 12 weeks is enough of the yarn & honey. I'll get back to you soon....

Another week gone by...

2007-03-03T10:45:00.001-06:00

This week brought travel plans. Go figure! Marv has won an all-expenses-paid trip for two to some resort right on the tip of the Yucatan penninsula. He did this by doing his job in an outstanding manner as usual. So instead of giving him an enormous sum of money as a reward, the powers that be decided on this trip together with others from his company. So now we have to rush to get passports and struggle find appropriate apparel. Neither one of us ever wanted to be seen in a swimming suit again, and so we don't own them. Not likely we can be forced into a situation where we might need them. If so, I think we'll have to get them down there. Golf is available to Marv, and most of you who know me know how I feel about golf. Most sports are out of the question for me until further notice. I guess I'll just enjoy sleeping late, reading books, soaking up the sun - fully clothed - and see what the days & nights bring.
This week I get another x-ray to see if my collarbone is healing. It still hurts. I don't think that is a good sign.

Withdrawal

2007-02-25T15:02:00.000-06:00

No football to watch, the collarbone hasn't been healing the way I would like, so consequently no riding. I fear I'm loosing my mind going thru this withdrawal of sorts. In an effort to keep from moving this clavicle of mine around, I spend a lot of time here on the computer. So now Blogger has been updated and I have been prompted to make changes here. This should keep me busy for a while.

Dismay

2007-02-09T18:58:00.002-06:00

Okay, it's been almost a week. Was it bad kharma that was able to flow thuough me? It's just that deep down I felt it would take a miracle to upset the Fates that were in the Colts favor. I never spoke of it. Never. I pushed it down deep, hid from it, and believed that the Miracle could happen. I believed, and still do that the players talent is there. Including RG.
Here are the statistics I choose to consider:
1 out of the 2 teams in the Super Bowl has less points at the end of the game than the other. It cannot be avoided, however,
100% of all teams in the Super Bowl has earned the privilege of playing in that prestigeous and culturally important ceremonial game.
Let's go for a rematch.

Cool Staley

2007-02-03T20:31:00.000-06:00

This is Staley the Christmas Bear. to be more politically correct, Staley the Holiday Bear. The "Holiday" Tree remains up at our house with Miami Staley presiding at the top. Tomorrow is the Super Bowl and all the Bears garb and superstitions will be observed and in place. GO BEARS!

Injured Reserve

2006-12-30T12:35:00.000-06:00

I've fallen off of horses before. Yea, it hurts, but then again so does falling down the stairs, and I've done that plenty too. This time was different. Broken collarbone. Nobody ever told me that every muscle in your body is connected in some way with your collarbone.
Nice that I found a way to do this just before Christmas when all my kids would be here for a week or so. Didn't get to go out & do anything fun.
We did put up a Christmas tree tho. I had sworn I wouldn't do it again, but as the holiday came near, I had to break down & do it. What made it worthwhile was topping the tree with Staley, the Chicago Christmas Bear. I would show you a picture if I could, but I can't, so I won't. At least not now. But I will tell you that he looks fierce, he does. Chandra suggested that we write a Christmas Fight Song to sing merrily. We will look to the January performance of the Bears to inspire us. In the mean time, Staley wears sunglasses to give a more casual, confident and friendly appearance.

Hmmm

2006-12-02T19:10:00.000-06:00

If every endeavor by every person in an encounter with another person had the intention of helping and bringing out the very best attributes of the other person, would things be different?

Where have I been?

2006-11-13T20:41:00.000-06:00

Wobbling, wobbling. Somewhere between home & work & the barn. Mostly at work. It's not a bad thing tho. I find it challenging much like a jigsaw puzzle. Maybe some people don't like puzzles. I do. So I like my work. I will go now. Just wanted to check in and reactivate this spot if possible. One of these days I'll say something of value to the masses. I know - how 'bout this: I do not think money is the root of all evil. Greed is.

2006-09-16T09:36:00.002-05:00

After much wobbling, confusion, perhaps even contusions, I have finally figured out how to get back here. You see, more evidence that weebles do not fall down. It is very important that I now figure out how to add links to my favorite other blogs: Remember the Phil-Man and Rising Spiral. This may take some time....

Great Wisdom From Cookie

2006-06-24T20:57:00.000-05:00

Now is the time to make circles with mints. Do not haste any longer.

What floats?

2006-06-06T20:29:00.000-05:00

What is going on out there? I never imagined I would do this, yet I am drawn to this insanity.